I went out with my guy friend last night. I have not seen him in months. I sent him a text suggesting a movie that was playing at the Grove (an outside mall). He wanted to go to Daphne’s (Greek fast food) for dinner before, which is near the Grove. I text back letting him know there’s an awesome Greek restaurant at the Grove and we can kill two birds with one stone. He text me back that it works for him and he’ll pick me up in 10 minutes.

When he picked me up, he say’s, “Daphne’s”? I reminded him about the Greek restaurant at the Grove because that’s where we’re going to see the movie. He nodded and agreed.

When we pulled up into the Grove, he say’s, “Why did we come here again”? Ummm is he serious? A little bit memory loss or did he smoke a little something, somethin?

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I was out dancing at a club with my girlfriend this past Saturday night. And there was this random guy trying to dance with all the single girls in the club. He was by himself and he literary danced up to every girl (from what I saw) and tried to dance with a random girl from behind, that way she can’t even see who is dancing with her. AND EVERYGIRL pushed it away. It was hysterical. He then tried to dance with one of our friends. This dude looked pathetic. Where’s his wingman?

To make matters worse, I felt bad for him at the end of the night, I saw him walk out by himself. Rough night!

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I used to sit outside on my concrete slab, AKA “porch” smoking after my divorce. Directly across from my house lived a young couple. When they first moved in they seemed happy, but we never had spoken to one another. One day as I sat in the filth of cigarette smoke, my neighbor walks by. Right away the hair on the back of my neck stood up. She was attractive, reddish hair and had a cute face. However, I could tell that years of smoking and drinking were aging her looks like of the common booze hag, just like the locals in any random dive bar. Anyways she introduces herself, and we chat for a few minutes. I can tell she is slightly buzzed, and about ten minutes later her husband comes walking by and she introduced him to me. I come back into my lair, the safe haven from an awkward conversation with these people but they seem just a bit left of normalcy. .About three hours later I get a knock on my door. It was the same lady, standing there on my porch, she’s pretty drunk and tells me that her husband threw all her shit out the window and left her. I didn’t know what to do and said, “That sucks have a good night”. Part of me was thinking wow this could be easy, but I am not into easy, I need a bit of challenge. So I wave her off and relax for the night. About a half an hour later she knocks on my door again and asks me to open a CD. As I do, she swarms by me, like a drunken teenager and moves her way to my couch! I knew it; I knew I shouldn’t have opened the door!!! Now I have a drunken girl that is upset at her husband on my couch… Not good. I tell her she needs to leave but she is back to three year old mode. She tells me no and straight up tells me to XXXX her. Wow! I am like please just leave me alone drunk lady!!! So I have to play the drunken game… I tell her I will, only if I can sleep with her on her bed. She thinks for a moment and enjoys the idea, so I get her over to her place. I put her on the couch, and tell her I left a condom in my place, now, my name is Jay and I hear her say: “It’s ok RAY, you don’t need a condom I’m clean!” I insist, walk back to my place, lock my door and turn my lights out. I figured that maybe she will leave me alone for a while and I am assuming she passed out because I never heard from her that night.Anyway she tried to knock on my door again however I never answered!!!

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I finally went out with the guy I emailed this past Sunday night. I was very excited to meet him since it took so long for him to write me back. We met at Starbucks early evening. When I got there, he was already there drinking his coffee. I was not very impressed with his looks because he didn’t look like his picture. I was hoping for his personality to shine. He was a gentleman by getting up and giving me a hug hello but then he didn’t offer to get me a drink and I waited inline by myself while he saved our seats.

While he wasn’t sure what I was talking about. sipping my Chai Latte, we asked each other some interview questions like where you’re from and how do you like LA but when it was time to answer what you do, he said he was an “Actor”. Wait a second… I thought he went to Europe last week on a Business Trip?? Ok so maybe he was filming in Europe. When I asked him how his trip was, Why lie?

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Okay, I’ve had my share of bad dates with women, but this one definitely takes the cake.

I met this girl randomly in a bar, exchanged numbers and Email addresses, shot a few Emails back and forth, and decided to meet today for dinner at a place called “Teaism” in DC. It was scheduled on a Wed night because it takes away from the pressures of a “real date” on a weekend. Everything went well, we had dinner, drove around a little, Click para continuar lendo »